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I regretted becoming a mother


There are women who carry heavy burdens - they were sorry to become mothers. Now is the time to find support and understanding instead of contempt, disbelief, and rejection.

I regretted becoming a mother2015 Dorna Onath, an Israeli-born sociologist, conducted research on 23 women with the title "Regretting motherhood". Before the interviews, they asked "no" if they were to have a baby again in time. Cheese has picked up the topic, and over the years, there has been an ubiquitous debate in Europe that has become so clear that the phenomenon is, and must be, spoken of as soon as possible. If I had asked my acquaintances about drugs, alcohol problems, or prostitution, they would surely have wanted to join the forum, but this time, to regret motherhood, she was a mother who didn't even want to hear about the issue, and she immediately stated that if there was a problem, she certainly didn't feel like they had a shrug because they had never heard it. If I had not had the personal experience, you might be turning this point around and giving up, but I knew for sure that this was the case. Where from? My mother was such a mother.

Vallomбs

Only later, in my adulthood, did I know about two tiny details about my mother, like nine brothers and sisters, the oldest, and the mother who grew up, and all of them And he wanted to reject it, but the doctor did not opt ​​for abortion. I was so old when my parents divorced, my mother resigned, and for over 12 years I didn't see the color. I was 17 when we met again, despite all my fears, he was lovingly welcomed and happy to be back. I couldn't be angry about it, all my blasphemy was gone because it turned out he loved me, just mother had nothing to do with it. She left me here for three years, and the bar caused me a lot of sins, and I could understand the decision. There was no mother, but she was a loved, good man, and did not repent of me, but of the role she was not prepared for.

Social printing

Women who struggle to survive their mothers, mostly in chat rooms, closed Facebook groups, or closed doors of psychologists and professionals, just dare to talk about their problem. Born Rita, life coach, specializes in childhood and child labor, and has worked with a number of assistant interviewers with a number of women who have similar problems.- A woman is not allowed not to want to be a mother. A mother is not allowed to be happy. I guess that society is not ready for this topic yetso everyone has to decide for themselves how they want to live. You better be aware that you don't have to ask for permission or ask for permission, Rita says. However, the question arises, if there is one who does not even want to have a child, then why have they done so. Although childbirth seems to be a free choice, it is not the case that women are overwhelmed by pressure. When it comes to choosing a mother, we have to think about whether we want it in the currency or just agree, for there is a difference between the two. Sometimes we try to live up to the expectations of our couple, and so was Lilla. - The couple pushed us to have a baby. You didn't expect me to give birth. Then again, but if I want to be honest, I have never felt that overwhelming kid following me. My son is three years old now. From the first minute on, I feel like you are away with me. His father is everything. I'm just a service person. No need for me. In my darkest moments, I play with the thought of leaving. We wouldn't miss her. They appreciate and love my workplace. At home, I'm just a colony. I don't need it. Is that really all I have in my life? So many mothers who turn to Rita, like Lilla, carry this burden of their lives. However, they can help with knowledge work and conversations. According to Rita's experience - The strongest and most destructive emotions that work in these women are guilt, lust and loss of soil. Between their sentences saying "it would be better if I was not born", "it would be better for my child not to have a mother" or "my life was lost", often several years of obesity and most of all serious childhood trauma In many cases, they are born because they fit so social expectation puts a heavy burden on women, Timi is, like many others, just drifting with the boy. - I don't know why I was born a kid. Maybe because everyone does it that way. She goes to a newborn and is born. No matter if you really want to think about it at all. My marriage was very bad. We had nothing in common. And the child was a hell of a distress from the first moment. I suffered very much during the pregnancy, and having a baby was terrible. I haven't been completely okay since then. And I became a real, difficult child. Stubborn, hot, weird, difficult to make friends with, cool. It would be easier without her. On the weekends when she's sleeping with her father, I forget about the minute. He doesn't miss me. They're just crying for silence and fire. This time, I feel like a terrible person. What kind of mother is that?

The mother role, and what's behind it

We have countless persuasive lovers of childhood, for example, that we will not be left alone in our old age, or that we will have a happy and full family. In contrast, women who do not wish to have children are marked by socialities, such as being careerist, gossipy, egocentric, blasphemous, or outrageous. These are, to say the least, irresponsible and in the least improper definitions.- Carol Leonard йs Elizabeth Davis The thirteenth archetype of female life in glorious books is a fascinating account of the state of women's lives. Everyone has a mother in between roles, but she doesn't necessarily have to live through it, Rita admits. It is important to see that we are all different, not only do we carry our fate in our genes, but there are negative experiences that make it difficult, if not impossible, to be a good mother or baby. The fate of Anikou is not entirely unique either, the women she abandons, cheat, often see their couple in the child, and because of the great grief they are unable to positively survive the mother.- I was two years old when I found out that the child is also here. I wanted to die. I didn't want to live so much and with so much pain. My boyfriend didn't come home for days, I was alone and thinking about the suicide. The kid was hot and screaming from his ears. I couldn't imagine letting it go to my father, I wanted to take it with me. I didn't try to do it. Elvбltunk. My husband disappeared after a while. I raised my daughter alone, with whom we had a lot of struggles. He always hated his father. The worst thing in the world is motherhood. There's nothing crazy about it, just gritted teeth - says Anik. It's time to accept that there are women, who are not, or are not, capable of doing so. According to Rita, women who kill motherhood or childbirth in the head, serious childhood grief report.

I was sorry for motherhood, not my child

There is a strange contradiction in this sentence, but, as the story of my mother shows, it is possible. One of the women in the Dorna Onath research says, "I know it's complicated because, yes, I was sorry for becoming a mother, but I don't mind my children, the people they chose." I like them as people. Even though I went to a godly man, I still don't mind, because if I had gone somewhere else, I would now have other children and I would love them. At the same time I'm sorry to have children and become a mother. I know this is contradictory. But I don't want them to survive, I just don't want to be a mother.

We can carry the spiritual canons to the infinite ...

But it's not worth it. The only possible, is knowledge. - Only human life With self-knowledge work it could be alright if everyone would be willing to work on their own. It is great to be able to look at your senses and problems because it helps you make more confident and self-conscious decisions. Many people are unhappy, And you can push it on the bed so that you won't even see it. But it's important that all the pain and sadness can be cared for, from children and adults alike, there may be some "crunching" after all, but that's why we're worth it. - The names of the women in the article are fictitious, and whatever the accident is, it is worth considering that these women, while still trying to keep their first names secret, are so afraid of regret and sadness. (This article was published in the December 2016-January 2017 issue of Pregnant Magazine.) You can subscribe to Pregnant Magazine here. Related articles in Maternity:
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