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Let's be disappointed, let's make a mistake! - Don't be a helicopter!


Every parent wants his or her child to have a good start in life and get as much as possible, whether it be for play or for parental attention. But can it be taken to the fire?

Let's be disappointed, let's make a mistake! - Don't be a helicopter!What can happen if the parent's attention is stressed at one point and the opposite effect is what we want it to be, and later the child's point is due to this over-attention in different life situations?

Helicopter, bulldozer, and bulletproof?

The name "helicopter" Dr. Haim Ginott it was first used in a 1969 book for teenage children and their parents.
Ginott calls it a helicopter whohe is constantly around the child and does not allow him space. Even the term "lame parent" or "bulldozer" is also present. Although analyzing middle-school or college-student child-parent relationships, it is often overwhelming, but helicopter can appear at any age. It can't be that, because a baby-to-be-born high-schooler child relationship is definitely not a foregone experience. it will be the parents who drop off in high school - or at least try to drop off the kid's friends, see their tickets and organize the little ones, all games are controlled and controlled, never leave them alone. The helicopter all in one take too much responsibility for child impact. Almost completely overlaps with this "lame parent" who "removes" all obstacles in front of the child and puts down all problems. For a parent of this type, it is important to make sure that your child always looks perfect - clean clothes, neat hair, and companions - and if my lord does not, then you will immediately correct the problem.

Natural Dependency - Optimal Shifting

Between the ages of 0 and 5, it is of course important that little ones have more with their parents - apart from the time they are in wits or ovaries, while their parents are working - but as soon as they are ready for school and school, finding their own way to start figuring out who they really are and being able to solve their own problems alone. And as we said above, it is important for children to be more of a kind when they are young. At the same time, it is also important that there is also open air in this assembly the child can also decide how much he wants to be with his parents. If you retire to your room, leave it to play, don't go afterwards, and don't divide every minute with small activities, ongoing programs, guided play. This parenting style is characterized by the parent always intervenes quickly into the lives of children, while still being "porcelain", children swap their hands between them, who get tired of all the tiny stresses they get, as they are you have needs. In this case, the continuous presence of the parent is justified, so that the child knows that he or she can always count on it.

Why would someone buy a helicopter?

SzorongбsThe labor market situation and intense economic competition have pushed parents right from the start to pay special attention to their children, to control them more effectively and to protect them. Parents take complete control of their children's lives in the belief that they can be protected from fear and pain.No: sent to othersTъlkompenzбciуAn adult who has been neglected as a child, has not received much attention and love, and is much more attentive to his or her own children, to give them what he or she did not receive at the time. we can't bring it back. If we discover the problem, we will seek the assistance of a specialist who can help resolve the situation and overcome our childhood affections.Other parents' pressIf we have seen other helicopters on our own, we can easily feel that we are not good parents, we do not care enough about the child, there is no solution at the bottom of our board. Guilt can be a powerful component of this dynamic.
Why not: We try to live up to the expectations of others, instead of following our own values ​​and rules.

9 signs that you belong to the helicopter

You can't let me goIf you feel almost physical pain every time you step out the door and head for the door, chances are you're a helicopter. Some parents focus so much on their children that it displaces all other thoughts from their heads and their daily activities are organized only for the children.Only the bestBecause you always want the best for your child, you should buy her the cutest clothes, the newest toys, the coolest puppets.No errorYou are always ready to make your child the best, the most beautiful, the most beautiful. If you can, you don't make the mistake of making others look like you.Security, sirThe family's little treasure swings, but a medical intruder sneaks in and tries to get the toy. If you pop in front of your tightest face, you may suspect that there is some "helicopter" in you. Finish two weeks back and see what happens.TisztasбgmбniaIf you are afraid that a crippled baby in your play will just gaze at your baby and get the disinfectant right away, "helicopter" may also arise. A little girl is not so tragic, she can relax soon and run around again.LightweightIf you do not let any of you choose, then you will tell him: I do not trust you to choose for yourself. Of course, this statement makes sense at all ages, as babies and toddlers cannot be overwhelmed with decisions, but it is always worth giving them age-appropriate decisions in smaller and larger decisions. It is important to know that some children are confused by the choice of the decision, so let's just think carefully and not give you two more choices. But it's nice to slowly teach them to make a decision and not always make a decision for them. Independence is a great way for kids to find their own way in life.You surrender easilyIn many cases, helicopters are driven by guilt, which can often lead to a lack of regulation and to the fact that the child will always let go of the inquiries, and practically the little ones will not have negative experiences. But soon you will not know how to react or process the negative results. In this way, they will not receive protection, but will be harmless.Just the perfect game!Every game you choose is a godsend because you want to know everything about those games. Is it safe, is it developing the child sufficiently, is it harmless in some form, is it entertaining enough. You "guggle" every single piece of stuff on the net to prevent something bad going into the nursery.Always in maximum preparationYou jump into the zoo. You made a book? Do you have extra nails? Plaster? Swiss jersey? Lifejackets and visibility vests? Helicopters are everything, and now they have to be understood, they like to be prepared for EVERYTHING, you can get to know them about the play, the huge stuffed backpack that holds the space, a tricky meal when you have a stroke attack. If you feel that in certain situations you are also prone to behaving helicopters, the tips of our expert can help you change the situation: The parent-child relationship is first-time addictive. But it doesn't matter how long it lasts. We know a lot more about Szllken, we have experiences that our children cannot have. The question is just to let this addiction loosen up, to gain their own experience, to use and develop their skills as a decision-maker, or to have a critical thinking, problem, or problem.Here's how to give kids a little more space:
1. Let them talk about your ideas, and even explicitly encourage them to suggest - for example. which way to go to grandma with whom you would like to meet. This is helped by open-ended inquiries that not only can or cannot be answered. And maybe don't give "better" ideas right away.
2. Ensure Choice - Depending on your age, only two will be chosen first, but let's talk about decision situations later and look for more solutions.
3. If you have a hard time letting go, step by step, you only need one half a day of your life first and do not divide every minute. Boredom has sparked creativity, one that is devoted every minute to someone else missing out on this very useful mindset. But who knows what children can do if we let them unfold and follow and support their development rather than controlling and controlling every minute.
- dr. Skita Erika Communication Hipster, Emotional Intelligence Trainer - This article appeared in Maternity Magazine, which you can subscribe to online. Look for the latest issue from the New Yorkers!Related articles in helicopter train:
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