We have asked our psychologist what you think of small children as a parenting tool.

Kati's story drew my attention to the fact that aggression within the family should be examined from the point of view of every family member, since the child who beats the child is mostly unperturbed by her soul. It has now become clear to me that it is not the parents who are punishing their children, but the informing that they need to be informed. They must be helped to stop stopping the hand raised.
"Daddy beat me since I was a baby. The first time I remember was because of a left-over lunch. Something weird, maybe I should have eaten it. I was sick, disgusted. Anyway, and always. Mom didn't save me because she was sorry because Daddy had blamed her. Later I had a lot of trouble with me, and I got pissed off. he taught me how to read hymns before school. I didn't blame the beats. He also grew up being beaten in his childhood. causes me ... I found out in high school that not all children are beaten. I could only talk to others much sooner than that. a cousin told me she was in that situation, in fact ... It was a fantastic sensation when we found each other. Somebody wrote me off.
My parents divorced me when I was five. I met Dad a lot and got myself almost every time. Mom never protested. They were right after the election, they didn't want each other badly. Mom didn't even think she was abusing her father. Ever since I was an adult, it never went wrong. I think there's so much left of my upbringing that I see what a nice girl I am, and they have a beautiful grandson.
I don't know what I live day by day. I'm afraid not to get caught by the dhh, because then I lose my head. Occasionally, I was struck with something by the pumice, and I finally beaten it with the first object that came to my hand. And only in hindsight, seeing his grief, did I wonder what had happened. I realized that only those close to me were sinful. I expect you to understand what's going on in me to help me overcome my anxiety. Perhaps by causing me pain, I can make my own pains.

Beating is not the solution


Anyway, the whole thing is very dangerous. My baby is like a month old. I have to save myself. I might be able to defend myself or run away with it where I want to be blamed. But so I am completely dependent on me, all responsibility is mine. Magnmagamtуl afielek. There's probably no nicer sensation.
This kid had become aware of me at the age of sixty, when he once cried relentlessly. Inside, there was a constant voice in my head: You have to help it, you can't make it a poor thing, don't hurt it, don't hurt it But in the meantime, I felt that I was not interested in anything anymore, I wanted to be silent, anything. Then I suddenly put myself in the bed, ran to the toilet and locked the door on myself. I turned on the fan so I couldn't hear anything and decided that I would only go back when I was calm. Sikerьlt. And since then I have been able to control myself several times.
My job is to break the queue. To break the blame that has been generating his family for generations. I need to overcome myself to have a better life for Kiskatak. And I have to save my grandchildren too ... "

We have a lot of "Kati" alive

I think most of us read just Kati's story: "Interesting, but from my point of view it doesn't matter. I knew before that I shouldn't beat the kid brutally." Indeed, this method of education is not so widespread nowadays, but experience has shown that we are always overly obedient to asking for corporal punishment. This, in turn, is due in part to the fact that many parents today are raised in a similar way to Kati, and that few people accept the race as a pedagogical tool. The slogan of this approach is, "I was beaten, and I became a decent man." It should be realized that beating - whether small or large - never produces a long-lasting, positive result, but always destroys it. Let's see how.

Look at the situation with his eyes!

Children under the age of two rarely do anything "bad". The reason for the wrongdoing is most often inexperience or curiosity. The lampshade, draped over the wall, is not born with the knowledge that "it is forbidden to modify the equipment". He has no idea that he is causing damage. A baby cook with a gas stove or anesthetized with an abandoned anesthetic child does not know that there are dangerous objects in the apartment, for all to discover equally. If we get hit (or scolded) by such an act of deceit, the child will surely stop what he is doing, but not because he told him not to. Just because he was scared! He has no idea what is the connection between scribbling on the wall and kicking the butt. If you do it often enough, after a while you may find that drawing on the wall is not good. The thing works pretty well, since the pet-friendly starters have followed this method. However, divinity can be deeded in the later. According to the researchers, the child raised with the beating can stop, especially before the parent, not to do the pigs he or she usually gets. When the parent is not present, he still "sins," and at most, afterwards, he has a little guilt. If they are not beaten but decisively stopped in action, briefly told that they are not allowed, and alternatives are offered to them ("draw more on paper or chalk"), you may after a while he understands the ban and ceases to persuade him with the questionable behavior. A child's cow will not be good for her, but because she realizes it is so right. This is the difference between form and education.

The parent is a man too!

Valуban. There is almost no family where you can snatch a bag. Anyone can get into a state of mind where the tension that builds up during the day is simply exploded by the child's unrelenting hysteria. In this case, one does not think, just slaps him - despite his disagreement with the beat. This is an apology and must be strictly distinguished from the educators' attitude that "humiliation, buttocks" is an accepted method. In the former case, the slap on the cheek may be more painful than what the "average" malpractice received in a smaller box, the long-lasting effect is another.

Beat the kid: цngуl!

Pedagogical beats have many delays. Researchers know quite well, but it is not widely known that exemplifying the child is a hundred times more powerful than conscious education tools, reward and punishment. The child's model is the parent, and in the early years there is hardly anyone else to sample. Children prefer to mimic aggressive behavior rather than other types of behavior. If the child thinks that his mother is beating his problems, why would he do so? And how do you know it can be? What do we expect him to do to prevent his children or even his parents? Most struggling children escape the cheat where parents regularly punish each other or the child. If we choose a more peaceful solution to conflict resolution, our aftermath will learn it. Parental domination is therefore the best guarantee of child domination. Of course, it is not easy to get out of the environmental circle, because we can pass on what we have received from our parents. It would be best if all young people were to learn to communicate without violence before trying to cheat, so that they could control their own interests so that other people would not be saddened. Great task, but worth it, at least for the kids.

Come on!

Certainly, there is a child whose behavior "can open his pocket in his pocket". What will lead a child to death? In many cases, this is the only way in which education is done and the parent loses credit in front of the child. Let's see a situation familiar to everyone! Moms are sitting on the playground bench. The little Joki sands sand in Panka's ear. "Jockey, you shouldn't," says her mom, and talks further. Joki's further filter, from the sand, comes to the mother's spleen. - I tell you not to! Jokimama sits on top of her. With the next page, Panka is in the eye. Panka's mother wouldn't put it any further, grunting the baby. Jockey is sending a sheet of sand to his own mother. Jokimama picks up, snatches the sheet from his son's hand, and mixes it up, shouting, "Twice I was born, not to blow the sand, then speak to the wall!"
Would you be right? Are you really born? If you literally interpret it, yes. The child, however, felt that it was not important for her mother at all that being a participant in the property was: let her talk, don't do something that would bother her! And Joki, since she was born, wants nothing more than to "confuse" her mother and make her pay attention to her. He realized that he could only do this with increasing rudeness: be it. The slap is better than nothing! This situation makes it difficult for the child, since the child is already exposed to a lot of "not free". In such cases, it is almost impossible to find a fast and effective parenting method - without the need for anything. It would have been better to prevent it.

Minor corporal punishment of children is also prohibited

Since 2005, the Child Protection Act has been amended and, according to the law, all forms of physical punishment of children are prohibited in Hungary.
According to Dr. Edit Kecskeméti, director of the Hungarian National Commission for UNICEF, such a law, of course, does not serve to expel parents by slapping sanctions. Here the principle really matters. It would be effective if a credible, independent authority advocated that children should not be beaten or lead to results. It would be great if there was a children's rights ombudsman who could represent this. That is why it is very important, because even today, the phrase "great people" is uttered: - I respect my parents, because even if they beat me, they made a man of me.
- In fact, we do not have any numerical data on the rate at which social stroke occurs in families, but it is highly probable that one in ten children regularly suffers regardless of social affiliation. It is also repeatedly sanctioned for light babies. The reasons for this can be found in the fact that nowadays, many young mothers are completely unprepared for their baby. There is no place to turn, no opportunity to get out of a critical situation, as his parents are far away (or do not trust), and his couple work from morning till night. There would be much more need for a baby club where you could move, where you would meet a buddy, where a mother in need could ask for help from professionals.

Isn't that the mamba?

If your toddler, too, is mistaken for his mother and father in one of his dictions, let's hold his arm tight and not let him go. Let's tell him emphatically we don't know. However, it would be inappropriate to go back, as this would only suggest that the spanking is correct, but only if it starts out stronger. With a calm but determined attitude, we can do more than shout, big-scene. Every once in a while, small bibs begin to kick, and we should reject it consistently. Certainly he tries to do it a few times, but he stops fighting because he sees that he has nothing to do with it. It is worth thinking about why your child might have thought that he was aiming for a beat. You may have found it so common to give way to your anger. Most of all, raise your child with our own behavior!
It may also be the case that the over-indulgent mother is provoked by the child with aggressive behavior. In addition to the mother, driven by her indecisive, casual fervor, the child wants to know where the limit is, how long she can go, and her behavior she wants to push through. If we always respond to this with another reaction, or perhaps the mother becomes leaner on her fatherly faith, the child will provoke her more and more wildly. Decide what we do and do not accept and then try to keep ourselves to it. If the child is overwhelmed by his temper, at least we should remain calm, for we are grown up.

Fighting kid

Kids and moms are most welcome to go home when the little Rambo appears on the playground. It is especially frustrating if our own child is fighting, although we believe that they are always raised to the opposite.
We have to accept that children's bloodlines are different, but that does not mean that we have to rest assured that the biases are regularly reduced to activity. The kid follows the example he saw, the mere words are quite meaningless. The best thing we can do is observe what we do when we are frustrated, frustrated. Anyone who secretly insists that their child is "lifelong" and militant will not persuade him to advocate non-violence.
What should we do? For example, we kill off the fighting kids and give birth to the initiator: why do you repent? This gives him the opportunity to express his emotions in a more cultured way, in words. Let's practice how to formulate your senses! Let's be careful not to make one of them culpable. It might also be a good ask: what do you expect from the other, what to do?
Let's give you ideas on how they can match. This is new for the little ones, and we can't expect to find a solution that satisfies everyone.
If your kid is so upset that he can't talk to him, take him out of the game for a while. Let's sit down with him, don't scold him, or talk to him. Once you are relaxed, you can go back to play, but we need to move on to the next one. In repetitive fighting, it is best to go home. This behavior is made to be unacceptable.
Be sure to give yourself more exercise ahead of time so that you can drive away your feelings. Let's not be aggressive or kid, as this is just to prove that we have to act violently as we are trying to achieve results.
Picture book browsing is a great opportunity to approach this request from another site. Not only tell the events, but also the senses of the actors. Let's talk about what kind of face you are making, what kind of movement the figure is making. What do you think, what can you say? With this method, you can unconsciously lead you to pay attention to the feelings and mood of others.

Don't overdo it!

Nowadays, very few parents think they need a well-managed neck broth. Most of the time, we decide to never have children, and keep up with their determination while the baby is lying in bed. However, sooner or later, almost everyone will have their hands. Let's try to make this happen less frequently! Let's just think we are so annoyed that we can't control ourselves. Цltцzkцdйs? Vбsбrlбs? Laying down in the evening? We can circumvent and transform these typical situations. Fatigue is usually caused by a combination of several factors.
Let us begin to remedy the problem in good time, not to let the temper grow in us. Unless you are very excited about dropping your seedling with a wooden spoon on your feet because of our headaches, let's not cut a picture for a minute, but put the instruments down before slamming the baby. Of course, we cannot always distract our little attention, nor can we disorient our anger, but do not exacerbate our anger with the child. If you can, run the block around, shut up, hack, do some lying down or do some yoga, breathing, and complain to a friend. We cannot give up all our needs in the long run. After a pleasant evening, with a fragrant bath, with an excursion, we gain new energy. It is also important that we know that life is about giving our children a thorough test of our patience from time to time. We are more comfortable and quieter in welcoming their smaller or larger females.