How do we behave when our child is disturbed, annoyed, uncomfortable, disobedient - simply in conflict? Test: 5 positions - 5 answers.
How old are you?
The scenes below, or at least the like, are certainly familiar to all of us. How do we behave when our child is disturbed, annoyed, uncomfortable, disobedient - simply in conflict? Of course, that depends on what kind of nervousness we are in. Reading the following stories has not given rise to fierce feelings as we actually do, so we can think more calmly about what the next solution would be. You can choose between them and get ideas on how to do it.
1. Listen to me!There is brotherhood. Adults walk and talk. The two-seeded family of the family plays either half or half of it, but now you have a problem: the dumper is stuck on its rear wheel, it does not spin. "Mama, segment!"
The Rejects the Child, saying, "You see, let's talk, don't disturb the adults! Find another car!"
He pretends not to hear and talks further. At the very least, the little cuckoo notices that he must not disturb the adults as he pleases.
C He ignores the car and sees that gravel is stuck under his wheel. Matches it up with the help of matchsticks, so the games can continue.
D Requests little patience from the child: "For a moment, I'll finish and I'll see your car."
Most conservative parents think that the child should not disturb the conversation of the adults, he / she should solve the problem alone - they choose A and B. With this I want to give patience and respect to the seedlings.
Answer C and D reflect liberal support. If your toddler has been playing cross-country freely, he or she has a legitimate need to become involved in "social life." At this age you cannot expect to play alone for longer. You may feel excluded, so if a beautiful person has failed, he or she will try to get your attention out of jerks and malice.
2. The given su
He will be very angry, will scold the child, and declare that he must go to bed an hour earlier from his punishment.
B Firmly turns off the father, and the child sees that he does not seem to be ready for the agreement yet and is therefore disappointed.
C Raises the child to turn off the father, but does not reprimand him for long, instead he is calm and cautious about not losing himself in the next few days.
D Warns the child of their agreement and decides to watch the selected programs now.
Fire is one of the most common sources of conflict in families. It is important that we act decisively in such a situation, and the worst thing would be to leave the case without you. The "value" of the penalty is questionable (Solution A), as it is not related to the error. It seems more of a vengeance than a fair consequence. I am very depressed for the child when asked with moral impertinence (Answer B), asking if he understands what we are saying. The penalty in Solution C is the direct consequence of the mistake and is therefore best understood by the child. We offer it up for action (turn off the parent), something that was originally supposed to be his. Our punishment (strikeout) may be that the answer to Answer B lies (the child is hesitant to adhere to the agreement), but saying it is just an unnecessary trick. To answer the problem further, Answer D: Together, we will develop good habits of survival.
3. Who is stronger?
Kihûl is supper, so he insists that the kid should stop playing immediately, even if he knows he'll be sick.
B Let your child experience the consequences of traveling and even warn them in advance: "We'll start dinner if you don't come in time, you can eat it cold, or it won't stay at all."
C You appreciate this dumb game, so you might want to alert you to dinner at some point in the future, perhaps by setting it up for a nice sound.
D He's wondering if his baby is really so into the game or just wanting to provoke him.
If your child is often unable to break free from the play, it is worth thinking about the cause (Answer D). For some reason, you may have little time for your free games. In these cases, a gradual flip (answer C) is a good solution, and we also try to ensure long, consistent play time. Of course, it is not excluded that he wants to annoy, to get more attention, to test the power relations. In this case, the guideline, if touched with it, his efforts fail, we remain calm, but he himself inconvenience (Answer B). Solution A alone is not going to go anywhere. Just annoyed, sure parents and kids will go out of their way to eat.
4. Love me!
The Rabbivall what you did. Kitszit in the bathroom, after washing, changing clothes must stay in his room.
B Declares that you cannot bring more granny chocolates or other sweets out of punishment, nor will there be anything delicious for two weeks at home.
C Hugs and relocates the little boy, saying, "All chocolate is over there! Grandma is asked to play with you first, just as he was when he was not."
D She asks her grandmother to relocate her granddaughter because she had a very busy time in the kitchen.
When "malice" is so obviously the cause of whiteness, it makes no sense to resort to punishment, the first two solutions only reinforce the big brother's mistake of loving five less. Even with a three-year sentence, you know we're not into chocolate, and hopefully the adult knows why you've done it. It is a wise thing to skip over intentionality in this case, instead consoling and smoothing it out (Answer C). Solution D implicitly suggests the same as saying C: restoring the relationship between the grandchild and the grandmother, and not the work. The best thing is to combine the two: first, comfort our little boy and then take care of his grandma.
5. It was accidental!It's Sunday morning, the family is having breakfast in the room. The three and the one-year-old hands out the milk box to put it on the list. Meanwhile, a glass full of orange juice capsizes.
Annoyed, scolds the kids and sends both of them into their room. Breakfast is over.
B Finds who the bug is and puts it in the kitchen, where he continues his breakfast.
C Quickly wipes and cleans the orange juice.
D Invites children to bring a cloth and shows them how to lighten up the massage.
Family life includes such accidents, so we don't have to worry if we get annoyed about it. But I'm afraid the bad bones want to starve to death when breakfast is missed, or if they eat it alone ... who knows what's going to happen (Answer A and B). The good housewife will quickly restore order (Answer C) and better still show the children how to do it (Answer D). This may be a harder, more time-consuming task, even though it is worth losing it, because it allows children to repair what they have spoiled, and develops a sense of responsibility.